Where to start

Dear God,

I’m not even sure where to start. I sense that you want me to share my story. I don’t even know where to begin.

I find no coincidence that my daily devotion this past week was about “scarcity” and believing that my story is not needed to be heard because it’ll just be another one on a shelf/website somewhere. Then I just happen to comment on another blog, sharing just a fraction of my experience. I’m sure you were not shocked to see Susie’s reply to mine.

I was.

Especially when she wrote how she felt so connected to my story and was glad there were other people she could relate to. My story didn’t make her feel so alone.

Alone.

That’s how I feel a lot lately. I sit here wondering why you have allowed to happen what has happened. I feel a lot like Job. I have not experienced what he did to that extent, but I’m sure he felt alone. He lost everything he loved. I have not lost everything, but it’s sure feels like it at times.

God, will you please guide me. Show me where you want me to go. Help me know what to write or speak to give others hope. I want my pain to bring glory to You. Lead me down this path. I’m no writer or speaker. I’m reminded that You don’t call the equipped, You equip the called.

I’m willing.
I have nothing left. It’s all yours.

Here is my committment to start.

Today.

Thankful for your love, today and forever,

Your Beloved

I’m Never Leaving

April 24th, 2020

Dear Beloved,

I know today is hard, you had no idea when you said “I do” twenty years ago that he’d tell you “I don’t” and choose to tell someone else “I do”.  I know it feels like you are also saying “I do” to her as well.  Despite how people want to leave the past in the past, it’s not possible when you have children together and families are blended.  Put your trust in Me, not in people.  People change, yet I am the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

 I will never fail or forsake you.

It hurts right now because you’re still hurting.  Eventually you’ll pick up the pieces of your heart and put them back together.  It won’t be the same as it was, nothing broken is ever put back together in its original shape.  But know that it will still work, and that most things that are broken grow back stronger. 

Keep trusting me, I will heal your broken heart.

You’ll make it.  Cry when you need to, it’s healing for your soul.   It’s okay to grieve what you’ve lost.    Remember that you haven’t lost the most important One. 

I’m still here. 

I’ve got you.

 I’ve had you from the beginning.

 I knew you were going to endure this and I chose it to be you because you’re strong and know how to fully rely on me.  I’ve met every single need of yours, down to the tiniest details.  Trust me to continue meeting your needs. 

I love you. 

You are mine. 

I’m never leaving you. 

Never 

Ever 

“and to the one who has not been loved, I’ll rename her “beloved”.”  Romans 9:25

Love,

Your Heavenly Father