Two words that don’t fit well together: Vacation and Breakdown

Dear Heavenly Father,

Well, it was a vacation to remember. Hot summer nights in a crowded humid Mid-Western city. Several good memories were made and some not so good ones. Things that in the moment were not funny, but now I can look back and laugh…and see how you were working in my favor. I had no idea this would be an ending to a new beginning. The last family vacation as whole unit.

The car getting broke into was just the begining. They didn’t take much, just left a small hole in the door. Kind of like the hole that was starting to form in my heart. I could tell he was somewhere else. This vacation was not his idea and he didn’t really seem to want to be there. He was starting to be distant, ever so faint, but becoming more noticeable to me. Never the less, we were thankful. It was just a car, loved ones were safe.

You knew what was going to happen next, on that long drive home. There we were about an hour from home when the check engine light came on. He instructed me to get out the manual to see what it could possibly mean. He made the decision to get off on the next exit to investigate further. We didn’t know that we would get stuck on that exit ramp. The car was dead. 100%. Would not turn over, make a sound, nothing. He was on the exit ramp of our marriage. He’d already taken that exit road off and he wasn’t going to get back on. Thanks to you Father, that it did start once, enough to gun it and at least get off the ramp and onto the side of the road.

He made the call to my father. He had a car trailer and could get us loaded up. It wasn’t the last time I had to call my father to come save myself and my kids. Praise God for a Dollar General within walking distance for a cool shady place to hang out while we waited for grandpa to arrive.

Sitting there in the waiting, I made a mental note that I was done with this car. We had so many breakdowns and had spent so much money on it that I was just done. I knew what I was going to do, and yet told no one at the time. You had kept stirring a thought and this breakdown was what I needed to prompt me to move on it.

After getting home I secretly started researching what I needed to do to become a substitute teacher. I told a friend about my plans at the pool one afternoon. It scared me to say it out loud. To me, that met I was fully committed to something I wasn’t sure I was made to do, but I wanted to earn some extra money so we could trade in our car for something more reliable. I was willing to step out, try something new because I was so tired of the old.

I soon did tell my husband of my plans to get certified to become a substitute teacher. He said I could do whatever I wanted. I had made up my mind that if I didn’t like it then I wouldn’t have to keep doing it. We didn’t really need the money. We could have saved up to buy a newer car, I just wanted to speed up the process. At least that’s what I thought. I had no idea how You were preparing me for my future and putting me right where I needed to be.

Thank you God for breaking down our car that hot July day in the middle of Western Kansas. That was one of the best blessings you gave me. That day was the beginning of a journey I had no idea was just starting. This is how my rescue story starts.

Until next time,

I love you.

Help me to keep trusting that You are using what seems painful, broken and difficult to prepare me for what is coming.

Your Beloved Daughter

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