Home

There I was, on a hot summer day, sitting in my parent’s backyard when I heard the ambulance sirens off in the distance.  I quietly said a little prayer for everyone that was going to be affected by whatever event happened that an ambulance was required.  That summer I had been going over to my parent’s house every afternoon to let the dog out, giving her some company and a chance to go to the bathroom.  Sitting there on the back patio with the dog and hearing those sirens jogged my memory to when just a few months prior I was siting in my own house when I heard sirens fly by my house on a Wednesday evening.  Little did I know at that moment the ambulance was headed to my parents’ house. 

My mom broke her leg that cold winter evening.  She had to be flown to a larger hospital to have surgery to put it back together.  She spent about 3 weeks in the hospital recovering and was able to come home right before Christmas.  In those three weeks we did find out the reason for the broken leg: cancer.  Cancer had eaten her bone away, making it super fragile and her leg just gave out one night while she was walking out the door on her way to church.  When we celebrated Christmas at my parents just days after she got out of the hospital and I had one of those thoughts that you shove into a dark, little corner of your mind and try to forget.   

We really don’t know how bad the cancer is…this could be her last Christmas.

Fast forward to a warm spring day when those sirens were heard by my oldest daughter while she was sitting in her last class of the day in high school.  Her classroom is right by the highway and the windows were open. I was at work, on recess duty when I got called to go to the office.  I just thought I’d go there after I brought all the kids back inside.  I knew something was wrong when the secretary came to me and said I needed call a family member right then.  I made the call, heard the news, and knew I had to leave immediately. I grabbed my purse and ran out my classroom door, jumped in my car and sped to my parent’s house.  When I had arrived at their house the ambulance workers were shutting the doors to the back of the ambulance and rapidly headed to the hospital.  I told my dad to get in with me and we quickly followed.  We were ushered into the little chapel room while we waited. 

After waiting a few minutes we heard the words that no one wants to hear.  We’ve done all we can do. 

She is gone.

While planning for my mom’s funeral my children knew one of the songs she wanted played.  A few summers earlier when she was taking them to Dairy Queen the song Home by Chris Tomlin was on the radio and she told my kids she wanted this song played at her funeral.  From then on, every time my kids heard that song on the radio they’d say, “This is the song grandma wants at her funeral”.  We all thought it was kind of funny at the moment, until it all became real and we really were planning her funeral. 

So, we did honor her request and played it at her funeral.  We used the song as part of a picture slide show and it truly was fitting for the occasion. Just two months after her passing, with a friend and family sitting all around me I was able to see Chris Tomlin sing that very song,.  I’m pretty sure I cried the entire song.  As soon as he finished the last word of the song fireworks started going off and I thought to myself, how fitting is this. Typically fireworks represent a celebration. We see them after a big win, a wedding, the 4th of July, the beginning of a new year, really anything that is celebrated. It is a celebration that my mom is finally “home”. She’s not in pain anymore, no more suffering or bad days for her. She’s in the best place we all want to go, Heaven.

I mentally wrote myself a letter to daily remember that this world is not my home.  I’ve got a fireworks worthy celebration coming on the day I get to finally go home.

Dear Beloved,

Sudden death is a deep reminder that this world is not your home.  I have created you to worship Me on earth and desire for you to join Me when your time on earth is done.  Don’t live for things of this world.  You will never find lasting joy from any of those things.  I am the only source of true joy.  You can only find true happiness in Me, not in things of this world.  Continue to seek Me until I call you home.

“For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come.”  Hebrews 13:14

I love you so much. 

Your Heavenly Father 

Home by Chris Tomlin

This world is not what it was meant to be
All this pain, all this suffering
There’s a better place waiting for me
In Heaven

Every tear will be wiped away
Every sorrow and sin erased
We’ll dance on seas of amazing grace
In Heaven
In Heaven

I’m goin’ home
Where the streets are golden
Every chain is broken
Oh I wanna go
Oh I wanna go
Home
Where every fear is gone
I’m in your open arms
Where I belong
Home

Lay down my burdens, I lay down my past
I run to Jesus, no turning back
Thank God Almighty, I’ll be free at last
In Heaven
In Heaven

I’m goin’ home
Where the streets are golden
Every chain is broken
Oh I wanna go
Oh I wanna go
Home
Where every fear is gone
I’m in your open arms
Where I belong

Blinded eyes
Will finally see
The dead will rise
On the shores of eternity
The trump will sound
The angels will sing
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I am
Goin’ home
Where the streets are golden
Every chain is broken
Oh I wanna go
Oh I wanna go
Home
Where every fear is gone
I’m in your open arms
Where I belong
Where I belong

I’m goin’ home
I’m goin’ home
I’m on my way home
I’m goin’ home